<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Missing You by Ace_of_hearts301</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28059990">Missing You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ace_of_hearts301/pseuds/Ace_of_hearts301'>Ace_of_hearts301</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Can You See Me? [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Body Horror, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Cause I am soft for them, Cute Kids, Domestic Fluff, Dorks in Love, Everyone Needs A Hug, Family Fluff, Fluff, Found Family, Hinata Hajime and Kamukura Izuru Share a Body Simultaneously, Kamukura Izuru Is Bad At Feelings, KomaHina Family Au, Komaeda Nagito Needs a Hug, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Touched Starved Komaeda Nagito</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:07:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,320</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28059990</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ace_of_hearts301/pseuds/Ace_of_hearts301</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Meeting your soulmate once in a life time was a rare enough occurrence, meeting them three times that was something special.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Hajime &amp; Oma Kokichi, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Kamukura Izuru/Komaeda Nagito, Komaeda Nagito &amp; Oma Kokichi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Can You See Me? [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1749595</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>144</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The dark doesn't frighten me, I chose to close my eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>And hey, you, don't you think it's kinda cute<br/>That I died right inside your arms tonight<br/>That I'm fine even after I have died<br/>Because it was in your arms I died~</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Lyrics in summary from Mother Mothers song Arms Tonight, which if you want to see some damn good fan art for go look at <a href="https://deffinetly-not-a-skeleton.tumblr.com/post/637432542723751936/i-cry-in-the-afterlife-i-cry-hard-because-i-have">this comic</a> by Siniziori on tumblr<br/>(man I really do be taking all my inspiration for things from others)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nagito Komaeda had almost never felt love. He was simply too afraid to love someone. The only beings he had loved were his dog and his parents and all of them were now dead thanks to his lucky streak. No, Nagito did not fall in love. Until the day he met <em>him.</em> The moment the two made eye contact he could feel the soft burning feeling of a soulmark. </p><p>The circumstances were rather... odd to say the least. One would not expect to find themself stranded on an island with fellow classmates and expected to make friends. So really it was no real surprise when one of his fellow classmates, one he hadn’t noticed before, collapsed from the news. The others looked at the poor boy in concern but Nagito told them he would watch over him just in case and they all went their separate ways. </p><p>He started off watching from a distance, a light buzzing in his chest keeping him warm. Then, slowly, ever so slowly, he approached the boy laying down in the sand. With every step he took the burning in his heart grew. He understood soulmates, and he knew how to identify the mark of one. He stood by the other boy’s side for a moment before he slowly, cautiously, sank to his knees. He rested a hand on the brunette's shoulder. When he went to speak his mouth felt dry. </p><p>“H...Hey. Are you okay?” The other boy’s eyes fluttered open against the bright sunlight shining down on the two. The most beautifully moss green eyes stared up at him. He looked dazed, he likely was, as he stared at Nagito through the harsh rays. The boy did not respond to his question, only stared at Nagito in confusion. “Are you even listening to me?”</p><p>The boy began to sit up, one hand flying up to his head as if trying to keep it on his shoulders. He still had that same dazed look. </p><p>“Are you sure you should be sitting up?” He placed a hand on the brunettes back to help but it felt as if pins and needles suddenly invaded his hand. He was sure the other boy could feel it as well so he was rather shocked at his soulmates first words.</p><p>“Leave me alone.” He pushed Nagito’s hand away. Rather harsh if he were to be honest, although he couldn’t blame the other. After all, he was suspicious of this whole scenario as well so for the time being he would let his soulmate be alone. He needed to think over everything after all. </p><p>Why were they here? That little rabbit said it was to become friends, but would anyone truly drag fifteen ultimates and him to an island for such a useless purpose. And all these cameras, someone had to be watching them. Maybe for their safety? He told the other boy such when he took notice of the cameras and monitors.</p><p>After a while of the other searching around Nagito found him back on the sand looking out at the sparkling ocean. A thoughtful look crossed his face as Nagito slowly approached him. </p><p>“Calmed down now?” He asked, taking a seat next to his soulmate.</p><p>“Yeah, sorry about earlier. I just needed a moment to myself.” The boy rubbed his neck as he shyly looked into the albinos eyes. </p><p>“Oh, really it’s okay. Everyone seems on edge. Really, it’s fine!” He waved a hand in front of him to punctuate his point.</p><p>“Anyways, I’m Hajime Hinata.” The boy, who Nagito now knew as Hajime, held out a hand. He took it in his. Warm in comparison to his own.</p><p>“Nagito Komaeda, and while we’re at it I may as well tell you my ultimate talent.” Hajime seemed to tense up at this. “Though it’s nothing much really. I’m the ultimate lucky student.” </p><p>“Ah, see I um… I don’t really remember my ultimate talent.” Hajime confessed, a light blush adorning his features. Nagito looked at him for a moment. </p><p>“Well, if it makes you feel any better I could help you find it. I’m sure your talent is amazing!” He smiled at his soulmate bright as the sun that shone down on them. </p><p>Later the two would be sitting on this very same beach, watching the sunset light the  ocean on fire. They would tell each other they were soulmates and would simply be enjoying the company.</p><p>Thus begins the tale of two souls, bound toa trail of love. What a beautiful despair that would befall them.</p><p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p><p>Nagito was used to people leaving him. Of course, it was only a matter of time before Hajime felt inclined to do the same. It was no real surprise to him when Hajime didn’t talk to him after the first trial. </p><p>Except it didn’t last, it all started small. One morning at breakfast Hajime would look up from his orange juice to look Nagito in the eye. Sometimes even giving a small wave to the boy who sat alone. Then it would evolve into a passing conversation while Hajime was going somewhere. It was almost like he didn’t completely hate Nagito. Which had completely shook the boy to his core. How could an ultimate like Hinata even remotely like a piece of trash like him. </p><p>“Hey Nagito!” He heard from behind him as he walked, he paused mid-step and turned to look at the owner of that familiar voice. </p><p>“Oh Hajime-san. What a lovely surprise!” He greeted as the other jogged lightly to catch up to him. </p><p>“Would you like to hang out today?” Hajime had asked him. Nagito almost jumped out of his skin.</p><p>“W-why Hajime-san, you don’t have to do that.” He raised one of his hands only for Hajime to grab it. </p><p>“No, I want to hang out with you Nagito.” He couldn’t exactly say no when he was already being dragged away. </p><p>They spent the day in the library, mostly reading by themselves and only speaking in small turns, but it was still a fairly large step forward.</p><p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p><p>He had always been susceptible to disease. His body was naturally weaker than most, so him becoming infected with the despair disease came as no real surprise. It was even less so when he became so utterly sick he was nearing the brink of death.</p><p>“Hajime…” He whispered one night as Mikan worked on keeping him alive. </p><p>“W-what? You need to speak up.” She asked as she continued her hard work. </p><p><em>I want to see him again, I need to tell him…</em> his mind screamed but his mouth said otherwise. “Hajime, I never want to see him again. He needs to stay away from my room so I never have to see him again.” He could have cried were it not for the disease forcing the tears back.</p><p>“I-I’m sorry, but for his s-safety he n-needs to stay away from you, b-but once you get b-better I’ll make s-sure he’s the first o-one you see.” </p><p>The rest of that night, as well as the following day, was all a blur. He faded in and out of consciousness. Between waking up, possibly calling for Hajime, and deep in a sleep where mysterious figures, all too familiar, haunted him. Red eyes he almost seemed to recognise. </p><p>On the second day he finally woke up. The fever broke, his sheets still damp, leaving him in a dazed state. He sat up dizzily. Mikan stood by his bed, a worried expression painted over her. </p><p>“I… I don’t think I’m doing any better.” He muttered sitting up fully. “You can’t bring Hajime here, please.” He begged, hoping the look in his eyes would be enough for her to understand.</p><p>“O-oh, right! I-I’ll bring him r-right over.” She rushed out of the room and he watched her. He could only remember his dreams vaguely, little glimpses of what could have possibly been a memory. It all seemed so real, those red eyes…</p><p>He was still sitting up when Hajime entered the room, he wanted to smile and maybe if he was stronger he would have. </p><p>“Hey Nagito, how’ve you been?” His soulmate asked as he approached his bedside.</p><p>“Just terrible, especially considering how I was.” He laughed softly. Hajime walked closer, kneeling over a little to look him in the eye.</p><p>“That’s good to hear, I guess?” He still seemed to not fully understand that Nagito was lying, but hey his soulmate was trying. </p><p>Hajime sent Mikan off to get some much needed rest, gently guiding her to the door while Nagito sat still on his bed. The two watched the nurse stumble away and were left to their silence. Slowly, hesitantly, Hajime grabbed a chair, pulling it close to Nagito’s bed, and sat down in front of the other boy. </p><p>“All alone with Hajime huh?” He started off, bringing said boy’s attention to him. “I can’t stand being in the same room as you.” He muttered. <em>No, wait.</em> His mind screamed at him. Hajime stood to leave, saying as much. <em>Hajime, don’t go. I don’t want to be alone again.</em> “Hurry up and get out of here.” All he could do was stare as his soulmate walked closer to the door. <em>I love you.</em> </p><p>He halted, his hand on the doorknob, as if it had suddenly hit him that his soulmate was lying. He turned back to face Nagito with a small smile on his face. </p><p>“That’s a lie, right?” Nagito smiled as he felt his heart soar. His soulmate, no maybe now he could call the other a friend, approached his bedside sitting back down. Hinata quickly grabbed Nagito’s hand, and he was almost able to convince himself the blush was from his fever. </p><p>“I can stay but only for a little while, we have the meeting soon and I’ll have to be going.” Nagito shook his head, hoping the look in his eyes would be enough to keep his friend here. </p><p>“Please, just go already.” He begged holding onto Hajime’s hand tighter. “I want to be left alone.”</p><p>Hajime almost seemed to hesitate for a moment before placing a hand on the side of Nagito’s head. He leaned into the touch, closing his eyes as he felt a soft pressure against his forehead. </p><p>“Once I’m done I’ll come right back and spend all the time we can together.” </p><p>It was all he could do to sit and watch as his soulmate walked closer to the door, and left him.</p><p>He was left alone again by the one person he felt he could love.</p><p>He sat alone for what felt like hours before the body discovery announcement sounded through his room. He would have loved to say that he instantly felt the fever go away and he was able to spring up a new person, but that was not the case. He lay there for a long moment. </p><p>He was all alone again.</p><p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p><p>They often enjoyed staying in the library, on a deserted island where there aren’t many options for entertainment books are a fairly good one for two people who never had many interests beforehand. It was on one such day, where the two were on opposite ends of the room, that Nagito finally decided to initiate a conversation. </p><p>“Why do you keep me around?” He gently closed the book he was reading but kept his gaze down, too fearful of what Hajime would say to him.</p><p>“...I could ask you the same.” Was all the other boy responded with. </p><p>“No, why do you keep me around?” He knew he would likely not get a straight answer but it was worth a shot. “I have done some… really bad things, so why? Why do you still tolerate me?” </p><p>“Well, to be perfectly honest I’m not sure.” He placed his book down on the table beside him. “It might be out of an obligation I feel as your soulmate, but I don’t think that’s the case. I think it’s because I enjoy your company. You aren’t as bad as the others make you seem. I won’t deny you haven’t done bad things but that doesn't mean you can’t make things better.” Nagito paused for a moment as he thought over what Hajime said. </p><p>“You know, you don’t have to stay with me. In fact it might be better if you didn’t bother with trash like me.” He gave a soft smile but Hajime just looked at him. </p><p>“You shouldn’t say that about yourself, I really do enjoy spending time with you.” He stood and took several long strides to cross the room. He crouched in front of the other. “I would have really liked to know you before this killing game, maybe then I could have been a better soulmate.” Nagito was quick to quiet that remark. </p><p>“No, no you are a fine soulmate. It’s me that's the problem.” </p><p>“I don’t think of you like that.” A hand was placed atop his unnaturally fluffy hair. “When we get out of here… maybe I could treat you to a movie?” His face flushed a deep crimson as he looked up, Hajime wasn’t doing much better. Looking down shyly with a heavy coat of red. “Or uh… if you don’t like movies we could do… uh… coffee?” His voice cracked lightly at the word ‘coffee’ and Nagito laughed. </p><p>“I would love that.”</p><p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p><p>The first night in the fun house and Nagito could find sleep escaping him. He was just hovering between the floating feeling of unconsciousness before suddenly jolting awake in alarm, his heart racing as he stared down the walls of his room. He wasn’t entirely sure if it was because of the small pangs of pain in his stomach or the realization of the class’ situation they were found in. Hajime would be in his room and no one in his house would be willing to listen to his ramblings at this hour. If only he could gather up enough courage to just get up to see his friend.</p><p>Were they even friends at this point? Their relationship had always been… complicated to say the least. Always dancing around what exactly they were. Never were they able to say exactly what they are. Friends? Enemies? Lovers? Hajime did admit to them being soulmates, on multiple occasions even, but what level was their soulmatatude?</p><p>Nagito knew what soulmates were and could be. There were cases of soulmates actually being siblings, sometimes soulmates could be lovers but had closer to an abusive relationship. There were actually many cases of soulmates being utter enemies with each other. So what were they? Hajime did say he would like to go on a date but was that in more of a friend way? Could Hajime even come to love him, or were they bound to be simple platonic soulmates for his eternity?</p><p>A knock at his door cut his thoughts off with a start. He sat up cautiously, slowly reaching for his jacket. He moved like any sudden movements would cause a wild animal to pounce. By the time he had gotten to the door he was so on edge he likely would have attacked if he hadn’t known it was one of his fellow classmates. Opening the door revealed Hajime holding something in his hand. </p><p>“Ah, Hajime, what a pleasant surprise.”</p><p>“Sorry, I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to disturb anyone else. I brought cards.” he finally held up the object revealing a full deck. “Chiaki always brings something to play so I asked if I could use a deck of hers.” They paused for a moment in the silence of the doorway. “Anyways, you wanna play a game or two?” </p><p>“Of course, I couldn’t really sleep myself so a distraction will help.” Nagito smiled, stepping off to the side to let Hajime in. He let the other boy take in the room for a moment, as it would seem the room Hajime got was leagues worse than what Nagito landed, before sitting on the floor opening the box and spreading them out. </p><p>“Do you know how to play war?” He asked as he shuffled the cards. Hajime took a seat in front of him.</p><p>“Yeah, though it doesn’t seem fair to play a game of luck against the ultimate lucky student.” They shared a laugh. “Why don't we try poker instead?” He teased, causing both the tired boys to laugh harder.</p><p>“Alright why don’t we try…” He trailed off thinking of one they would both enjoy. “Have you heard of Egyptian Rat Screw?”</p><p>Hajime tilted his head to the side. <em>Cute.</em></p><p>“Oh, well I could teach you!” He started listing off the rules to the best he could remember and then they were off. </p><p>After about twenty plays and at what felt like three am the two were left still awake lying on the floor, laughing off their tired drunkenness, and talking about nothing at all. It was a simple questions game, ‘Would you rather eat twenty bricks or jam nails in your fingers?’ would be an adequate example. Most of them were rather stupid questions not really meant to find out about the other, but some got all too real. ‘If we got off this island what would be the first thing you do?’ and such. </p><p>“...What are we?” Nagito asked one of his turns. Hajime turned to face him with a look Nagito couldn't identify. </p><p>“Soulmates?” Hajime said though it did not sound like a statement. </p><p>“No, no. What sort of soulmates are we? Friends?” He asked, tuning onto his side so he could see the other better. </p><p>“...” Silence. <em>Shit, I’ve fucked this up.</em> He thought to himself. He moved to get up but Hajime’s voice halted his movements. “I would like to be more than that.” He said, voice heavy as his face was painted red. </p><p>“Oh,” was all he could say on the matter. “...Cool.” Hajime laughed, pulling one of his hands up to Nagito’s hair. He pulled closer, leaning into the touch. Their foreheads touched gently. </p><p>“I want to kiss you.” Hajime whispered. </p><p>“Alright,” Nagito stated as he leaned closer. </p><p>“Alright.” They were mere centimeters apart, his heart was racing. Face flushed, hands clammy. They finally connected in a soft kiss, lips moving against each other in a rhythm that almost seemed too perfect. Like they had already done this before. </p><p>They pulled away not long after. Staring into each other's eyes breathlessly. </p><p>“Breathe Nagito.” Those few words almost made him melt. Hands still interlocked in his hair began to slowly move, gently running through the soft strands. He caught his breath for a moment, looking into soft green eyes before diving back in.</p><p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p><p>The metal of the gun felt almost reassuring. Like a hug from the person he loved most. There was a soft click as he pulled the trigger. Nothing. Again. Nothing. Of course his luck would pull something like this. He knew this would be the case, that’s why he was here. </p><p>Both the Future Foundations file and Hope’s Peak profiles were placed in his hand. He felt a surge of power, knowing that he actually went to a school as an ultimate… he felt powerful. Grabbing some poison for the long road he finally opened the books he was given. Sitting against a wall he almost seemed to laugh. </p><p>“Of course. Why didn’t I see this sooner.” The books revealed it all. Specifically Hajime’s lack of talent. “That's why he never did remember.”</p><p>He couldn’t seem to stop the heavy feeling of betrayal from seeping in. The feeling of… despair that overtook his bones with a chill. </p><p>He dropped back down right into Hajime’s arms, back to pear house. </p><p>Upon seeing the others' faces he almost seemed to snap. His heart seemed to break upon looking at Chiaki, Hajime who he had given his heart to. <strong>They both deserved to die.</strong></p><p>A plot came to mind, seeming to be whispered to him. He smiled at the thought of it. Killing two birds with a single stone.</p><p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p><p>He stared up at the ceiling. He might have cried but he didn’t want to. The searing pain in his wrist kept him alert. Well, there was a searing pain in a lot of places but there especially. The spear above him teetered precariously, it could fall if he let go too suddenly. He tightened his grip, just to be sure. </p><p>He was getting light headed, possibly from the blood loss but no one can really be sure. It wouldn’t be long now. They would bust down the door and he would fade away. He wasn’t afraid, really he wasn’t. He knew nothing would wait for him when he left to eternal sleep. He just…</p><p>Ah, he was crying now, wasn’t he? Stupid. This was stupid. Hajime likely hated him now. It didn’t matter. So why? Why didn’t his tears stop? </p><p>He remembered what he told Hajime when they found each other, only a day ago. </p><p>“Ah, Hajime… I’m happy you’re wanting to hang out with me but…”</p><p>He realized as he stared up at his death. <em>Inevitable.</em> He didn’t want to die. <em>It would only take a moment.</em> He wanted to see Hajime’s face, just one more time. <em>It wont even hurt.</em> He just wanted Hajime to save him. Come rushing in and protect him from his fate. <em>I still want that coffee date.</em></p><p>“I still have things I need to do. Don’t worry about me, okay?”</p><p>He hoped they all could find it in them to forgive him. Chiaki especially. She, like Hajime, seemed to enjoy or at least tolerate him. <em>You two, I’m sorry.</em> He closed his eyes as more tears flowed, his sobs muffed by the tape over his mouth. He was going to be honest, he was terrified. </p><p>“Go have fun and spend time with the others.”</p><p>He heard the door open and knew it was time. He tightened his hold on the rope and let his last tears fall. He closed his eyes, awaiting his fate. </p><p>The next time his eyes opened was when the spear flew down. Piercing his stomach he jolted up. Terror clear in his eyes. He could hear shouting. It didn’t matter. He could feel his heart rate slow as more blood flowed out. Thick and red. Red. Red. <em>Eyes.</em> </p><p>He heard Hajime and wished he could see him one last time. He let one last tear roll down his face before he let go. Succumbing to the darkness. And if he could pretend one last time he could imagine it was like going to sleep. Slipping down under the waves and allowing a deep black to surround him. He could almost pretend he was just falling asleep and the next face he would see is Hajime. </p><p><em>Hajime.</em> Was his last thought. </p><p>Maybe it was a good thing he died like that. Then he would never have to see his soulmate sinking to his knees beside his still body. Allowing himself to slip into despair. Looking at his lover's face, never to wake up again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Just so we are all clear, yes I will be continuing (even if chapters may take a while to get out). There will be a part covering Nagito's time during Ultimate Despair and who knows, we may see a special guest ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Monophobia</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Right now Komaeda was one of the remnants of despair, running from the Future Foundation to avoid an arrest, travelling a world riddled with death and destruction, accidentally adopted a small child and is living a life with his (maybe?) boyfriend the Ultimate Hope Izuru Kamukura.</p><p>This list, of course, is in order of least to most important.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Don't know if you have picked up on context clues but I added Kokichi as the child Nagito adopts because I am soft for cute family dynamics okay. I am a simple woman, I see that Kokichi was raised by Nagito and Hajime (also Izuru) and I cry.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When one meets their soulmate for the first time one would not usually expect it to be when they are shooting you. Then again Nagito’s life had been rather unusual. Slender, deft fingers trailed their way over his waist and he shivered at the buzz it left behind. He watched as this false hope turned the weapon he once had trained on the other boy aimed for his heart. Red eyes glared at him, a black hurricane of hair sprawled out around him in a heavenly halo. </p><p>He was in love. </p><p>And could anyone even judge him? I mean really, who wouldn't fall for someone after they attempt to kill you? </p><p>That very same night he had to watch as one of his only friends was murdered. Meeting your soulmate then facing the death of your only friend, was it any surprise he let himself succumb to despair? The thing he hated so much became his life. </p><p>He would walk his way through the fires of Hope's Peak, and he would be smiling. He would watch as people around him died and he would almost giggle. Oh what a beautiful despair he felt.</p><p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p><p>It was a mere few weeks since the ultimate despair had first sparked that the two met for the first real time. Nagito had been surviving off what he could. His jacket was the only comfort he had at his disposal. The city's streets were full of the smell of death and ash. How lovely. One thing you seem to notice when the world is set on fire is ‘hey this is actually almost beautiful.’ </p><p>He was halfway stepping over a dead body when he noticed it. A murder of black hair. Flowing out behind the owner in long and beautiful ribbons. He almost knew that hair.  He almost recognised the deep crimson eyes as they approached him, like a dream he once had. Of those same red eyes shooting him. </p><p>He bowed as the figure approached. Maybe out of fear or respect, he wasn't too sure himself. He only heard the footsteps as the man he knew as the Ultimate Hope approached him. </p><p>“Why do you bow?” He heard a deep voice ask, monotone. </p><p>“I bow for you, Kamukura-sama.” He could feel eyes boring into him, and felt a burn in his chest as he kept his gaze down. </p><p>“...And why do you do that?” He heard him ask once again. He still kept his head low.</p><p>“I am a servant to hope and a servant to you, sir.” He felt the harsh gaze lift.</p><p>“How boring.” He heard above him before a hand cupped underneath his chin pulling his gaze up into shining rubies that one could call eyes. “If you so wish to serve me then very well, I could use some small amount of help.” Nagito smiled, or perhaps that's all he was now, a servant to hope.</p><p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p><p>They had been traveling for months before his luck cycle hit again. They were always on the road now, walking most days, stopping when they could. The collar and chain always felt heavy on his throat. It felt even more so when he was hot with fever and coughing. He had collapsed halfway to the broken down hotel they were taking shelter in and Kamukura had to carry him the rest of the way. </p><p>The next time he woke up was surrounded by semi warm blankets and within the wallpapered walls of some already shitty motel on the side of the road. The corners were peeling off for misuse and the carpet on the floor was dust ridden and scraggly. There was a draft. He could feel the cold already seeping in as he laid in a hazy fever ridden wakefulness. If he didn’t feel so hot he may have shivered.  </p><p>Kamukura was sitting on a nearby chair that looked infested with some sort of disease, though it could have also been the state it lived in. He sat up slowly, warding off a headache as the blankets slipped from his shoulder </p><p>“You’ve been out for a while.” He spoke lazily as he stood up, grabbing a nearby water bottle and what looked like medicine. “I had to carry you to our destination.” He held out his hand and Nagito grabbed the water quickly to help his dry throat. Greedily gulping down the lukewarm water, only having the self control to stop to take the medication Kamukura knew would help.  </p><p>He downed the pills quickly, looking up to the Ultimate Hope once he was done.</p><p>“We will stay here until you get better. You need rest and I doubt, considering the performance today, you will be able to continue like we have been.” He nodded to the other man and began to lay down again, pulling some of the blankets over him as he did. </p><p>There were two beds. Despite the fact it seemed like a cheap motel even before despair set in, they were rather comfortable, considering Nagito was used to sleeping on the ground; this was probably a component to consider but hey, who was he to say anything about it.</p><p>Kamukura slept on the side closest to the window that night. Usually Nagito was on watch but his condition was too far gone for him to even sit up for extended periods of time. He was stuck in a daze, staring up at a water stained ceiling, his hands folded over each other over the covers. His eyes were fluttering open and closed. </p><p>“Why?” He muttered at some point in the night. Kamukura was as still as a statue, looking out at the moonlight streaming in through the curtains. “Why take care of me?” He concluded a bit louder this time. “Someone like you shouldn’t even care about my wellbeing.” </p><p>“...Perhaps I wish to keep you as company, or it is because I am human and cannot do everything myself. This may come as a surprise but I don’t always know how to do things, Servant.” Nagito could have sworn he saw a twitch come from the other, a hair falling away from the others, as if to suggest Kamukura would look his way. </p><p>“Nagito Komaeda.” He whispered to himself before he finally fell asleep in a rotting cheap motel on the side of the road with the equivalent of a god watching over him.</p><p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p><p>The city was on fire. This was nothing new really. Most cities were on fire nowadays. It was months, maybe three, into despair by now. They had seen most of Japan by now. This city looked the same as they all did by now. Death and destruction littering the streets as people tried to survive. </p><p>They tended to stay in main streets. Trying to look as inconspicuous as possible to passersby. Nagito tended to tune out everything while they were in big cities like this. He hated having to look at the people suffering to get by. The cities were always worse than the small towns. </p><p>On one particular visit, to what might have been a bustling metropolis once upon a time that was now reduced to a rundown dystopia,  that he heard something he always had. He and Kamukura were standing in front of a merchant trying to sell peaches (when was the last time he had something like that?) when a soft cry was heard down a nearby alleyway. He twitched his head in that direction before returning to the task at hand, he had heard it all before, this was nothing new to him. Until he heard it again. A high pitched, soft cry. Down a nearby alleyway. <em>No. Focus Nagito.</em> He turned once again to the seller. </p><p>Well as they say, curiosity killed the cat. But, what most people forget is that the thrill of it brought it back.</p><p>On the third cry he finally turned fully away. He wouldn’t go far, not without Kamukura, but…</p><p>Just across the street was where the crying was coming from. He slowly began to walk away. The darkness crept into the alleyway that sat away from the street lamps. Among trash cans and thrown away boxes was where he found her. She looked about fifteen, not old, with raven hair. And she was laying there, dead. She hung limply over something cradled in her arms. He took slow steps towards her. It was rather sad to see. Her face looked peaceful in death, like she was merely asleep, but the crimson rolling down her face told otherwise. </p><p>He heard another sobbing sound from the bundle in her arms. He carefully grabbed at the cloth pulling up slowly. He gasped at what he saw. A child, no older than one, with tears rolling down red stained cheeks. He warily reached out, making sure to give plenty of support to their head. He pulled them to his chest, cooing at the bundle softly. </p><p>“So this is where you have been.” He turned to look at Kamukura in shock and he could have sworn he saw a flash of surprise on the other's face. “Oh? What do we have here?” He took the few strides needed to stand in front of Nagito.</p><p>“I just found both of them here.” He turned back to the dead girl. “This baby is very lucky to be alive right now from the looks of it.” He watched as Kamukura knelt down in front of the girl. He stood by, still trying to calm the child in his arms, as Kamukura poked around the girl. </p><p>“This happened to her recently. The blood is not even fully dry.” Kamukura stood, swiping invisible dust from his clothes as he looked the girl in the face. He lifted the bundle as the baby fussed. </p><p>“Can you take them for a moment?” He held his arms out to Kamukura who tentatively wrapped his arms around them. </p><p>Looking a dead girl in the face made Nagito feel more sympathy swell in his heart. She looked dirty, covered in a mixture of rusty red clothes and a mud stained face. He untied the bandana the girl had around her waist, a checkered pattern covered the fabric, it was fairly sizable so he handed it off to Kamukura. Maybe this could replace the torn and tattered blanket the child was wrapped in. Kamukura seemed to think the same thing and set down the baby to replace the two. </p><p>He turned back to the girl, beginning to check her jacket pockets. In the first he found a measly 10,000 yen which he pocketed (hey everyone was suffering nowadays) going onto the next. Nothing. In her shorts pockets he felt a hard piece of plastic next to a piece of paper. He pulled all of them out at once. The plastic was a school ID. A picture of the girl smiling brightly next to a name. Seiza Ouma, born January 11th 20XX. Yep, his intuition was correct, fifteen. Too young. The paper was folded over itself and turning a slight shade of yellow, likely from being held in a pocket for its whole life. He unfolded it gently. Inside was a long list of words and a polaroid photograph. </p><p>He looked at the photo first. Long black hair swirled around her as well as the pure white dress around her legs. A flower crown adorned her head. Red roses. She looked happy, young. He pocketed the picture, maybe it would be useful one day. </p><p>(Oh who was he kidding? He only really wanted the picture to see that hope that was now lost to the world at large. Maybe, if they chose to keep the child, he could give it to them. Tell the story of how he found them in an alleyway of the girl's arms. He could say that she took care of them. Maybe one day…)</p><p>He took the letter, tentatively folding it over again and tucking it into his pocket. He could read it later.</p><p>Kamukura still held the child, wrapped in the checkered bandana, asleep in his arms. </p><p>“It’s a boy. He wouldn’t be able to survive if you hadn’t found him. I will put him on someone's doorstep and we will leave.” He watched Kamukura turn to go. </p><p>“Wait.” He held out a hand to the other man. Kamukura’s red eyes targeted him and he shook slightly under the harsh gaze. “I…” How could he put this. They were struggling, maybe even more than others in this time. Both of them, wanted criminals and barely being able to stop by in abandoned hotels to sleep soundly for one night. They often struggled to feed themselves, it could be more difficult with a younger mouth to feed. “I want to take him under my wing.” He stated, and that was the last of his confidence.</p><p>“What was that?” Kamkura asked, his gaze turning slowly to a glare. </p><p>“Listen, I know the risks but… I can’t just leave him to someone who may not know how to properly take care of him. We may be his only option.” He pleaded, not tearing his gaze away from Kamkukura. They held the staring contest for what felt like hours. The rotting corpse near them sat in silence waiting for his answer.</p><p>“...Very well,” Nagito felt his face relax in relief. “However, you will be his primary caretaker.” He placed the child back into Nagito’s safe arms. </p><p>Nagito would be okay with this. He had always loved children so being able to care for one of his own would be nice. </p><p>They found a slightly less rundown hotel to stay in that night. </p><p>Nagito agreed to stay up on watch that night, not only to take care of the baby if he woke up but to read over the letter he found on the girl’s body. Unfolding it to the light of the moon. The baby (they had yet to name him) was in the bed, almost drowning in the sheets. He would need to find a crib or something better for him to sleep in. Maybe this whole thing was a bad idea. It would be difficult to even take care of himself let alone a small baby.</p><p>He took a deep breath as he looked at the letter.</p><p>
  <em>To whoever cares enough to read this, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>My name is Seiza Ouma. I was with my mother when despair first started but she died during the birth of my brother (the one in my arms if all goes well). I have been taking care of him since then, but I am still too young to know everything. So to whoever finds this I ask that you take care of my baby brother. If you find him I likely died trying to protect him and I want him to know that I loved him to the stars and back again. His name is Kokichi, and again, thank you. Below is a message I want him to hear once he is old enough to understand. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hey kiddo. You’ve survived. You probably don’t know me, but I was your sister. My name was Seiza and when despair ruled the world I likely died to protect you. I want you to know I love you and I am so proud of you for having the strength to live. Whoever takes care of you next loves you too, that’s why you’re here and I am not. Because people care about you. You’re going to grow up to be big and strong, you will be brave and cared for and you will be something amazing. You’re going to do something big and be an amazing person who will give hope to many. I believe in you and I love you Kichi! Goodbye. </em>
</p><p>                                                                                                                                              -Seiza Ouma, your constellation &lt;3</p><p>Her signature was surrounded by childish stars and hearts. Nagito could feel tears beginning to sting his eyes as he read. To know that this child, Kokichi, was so loved by his older sister was something beautiful, hopeful one might say. </p><p>He looked to the sleeping boy's face and he swore to any gods that would listen he would do the same, to die for this child to survive.</p><p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p><p>“You perplex me Komaeda.” Kamukura said one night once he got Kokichi to bed. They had a cib now, something small, foldable, probably meant to be used for camping trips they were using while running from everything. He was surprised people still sold things like that. He even found a surprising amount of baby clothes for practically nothing but still such high quality. He supposed it may have been for the disintegrating population and children born in this new era not surviving long past two years of age. He turned to Kamukura, hands still on the sides of the cradle. </p><p>“Oh, do I now?” He asked, quietly walking over to make sure the door was locked for the thousandth time that night, looking out the window for the tenth. “How so?” he finally planted himself atop their bed. There was only one in this room, a slight miscalculation on his part. </p><p>“Yes. You have been a mystery to me for a long time, now even more so.” He sat up, looking Nagito in the face. “I don’t know anything about you. Every time you do something it surprises me. I can always tell what someone will do. I can often say exactly what they are going to say in my head before they say it but you…” He barely took a breath when he said this, then paused for such a long time Nagito almost got concerned. “When you took in Kokichi, that shocked me. I thought you wouldn’t have any compassion for someone you never met, yet you surprised me by ignoring the risks we would have against us and taking him in. Your way with words is… something I cannot describe. The way you tell stories to him… I can almost understand wanting to hear a tale from your lips every night. Even if they are stories I have heard hundreds of times before hearing them from you is like hearing for the first time ever. Don’t even get me started on the myths you make up.” He giggled at hearing this.</p><p>“So what, I have a bit of a creative tongue, that's nothing much in comparison to you.” He brushed his hair back as he looked to the other. </p><p>“What I am trying to say, Komaeda, is that you are interesting to me.” It grew silent in the room. Kamukura had found practically nothing interesting so that had meant the world to Nagito. He heard breathing, that’s all he really could hear in the hotel room. Breathing. Sometimes it felt hard for him to do. </p><p>“Is that why you keep me around?” He asked, looking out through the curtains of the window. </p><p>“Perhaps. If I am to be honest, I’m not sure why I keep you around.” He admitted. Nagito was surprised, what was there that Kamukura didn’t know. “Everything you do for me I can do for myself, but I appear to enjoy your company.</p><p>Later that night, while the other two were asleep Izuru laid on his side looking at the back of Nagito’s head. They had agreed to have Izuru on guard duty that night. He hadn’t been able to sleep at all, even if he had tried. His mind was too busy running over all his thoughts. He slowly crawled closer to Nagito’s sleeping figure, wrapping an arm around his shoulders leaning into his head into the others neck.</p><p>“I’m not exactly the best with emotions. I know this, but I think the real reason I keep you around is what one would call love.”</p><p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p><p>It had been a good year since then, Kokichi had grown a little, Nagito and Izuru had become closer to the point they might be able to call each other ‘lover’. All was going well.</p><p>Then Nagito got sick. Really sick.</p><p>He could feel his strength leaving him day after day as his health deteriorated. Izuru knew something was wrong. They talked about moving somewhere more permanent. Only after Nagito collapsed just by standing for his morning stretch they agreed that would be the best. </p><p>Kokichi had been scared. Babbling his baby language as he touched Nagito’s face while Izuru packed what little things they had. Clothes mostly as well as the other odd possessions they kept. A photograph of a young raven haired girl. A Polaroid camera Nagito had found one day along with a few rolls of film left. A pin with a pixelated spaceship. </p><p>“It’s okay Kichi. We just need to go somewhere for a little while. It will help make papa feel better.” He had gotten used to calling himself ‘papa’ when around Kokichi. “We're going to find home, can you say ‘home’?” He was still working on getting the toddler to speak. As it would turn out, a child growing in despair would not know very much about walking and talking.</p><p>“Hob!” Kokichi shouted excitedly. Nagito laughed and Izuru cracked a small smile.</p><p>“Well, we should be heading out soon.” Izuru said, lifting the backpack they had onto his shoulders. </p><p>“Alright.” He said, grabbing Kokichi and placing him on his back as well. </p><p>“I’ll carry you when necessary, it will be around a five day journey to the place I scouted out.” </p><p>The route was long and hard, but they quickly fell into routine. Wake up to a very small breakfast (they were trying to ration supplies in case of emergency) walk for about five hours before Nagito collapsed from exhaustion forcing Izuru to carry everything, then finally, set up a camp for the night and fall down into a deep sleep. On the third day, while the sun was still high in the sky, Iuru found an old semi broken down car on an abandoned road. They took it, and for the next two days they drove in near complete silence. </p><p>They continued until it, too, broke down and back on their feet they were. </p><p>The house was mostly hidden. A large field surrounded it and the woods behind was imposing enough. They traveled the dirt road. Kokichi in the arms of Nagito who was in the arms of Izuru. The house was old, white painted wood and a grey rooftop, large and rundown in the middle of nowhere. It would be ‘home’ for the next few months that could turn to years. Nagito was placed down onto the earth once again as they approached the door.</p><p>The inside was almost beautiful when compared to the chipped paint and old appearance of the outside. Dark hardwood stairs were the first thing they saw upon entering the victorian style house. Izuru put down the bag they had as they began to look around. The living room still had games out, half played and pieces strewn about, like they were enjoying a family evening when despair finally got to this little area of home. Books were pulled from their shelves, thrown halfway across the room. It was almost sad to see. The kitchen still had a few cans of food left, water bottles half empty and laying on their sides. The backyard was left unkempt, sunflowers still grew. </p><p>The upstairs was mostly untouched. Bedrooms of what looked like a little girls room was still prim and perfect. The master bedroom was just across the hall, an octagonal shape with a window seat. In the third room they found the bodies. Nagito was quick to turn Kokichi to look away from the scene.</p><p>Two adults, likely in their forties, grey hair on the sides of their heads and wrinkles beginning to form laid, bloodied and still. Faces ashen. Beside them were likely their daughters. One older, the other still looked no older than seven. The stench of rotting corpses would always make him gag. </p><p>He stayed in the living room with Kokichi while Izuru excavated them to a less than proper burial. </p><p>When he came back in the night was still young but through traveling for five days straight they were far too tired to stay on their feet, they finally allowed themselves a moment of peace.</p><p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p><p>As time went on Nagito got better. Mikan made regular deliveries to give them more medical supplies and Izuru handled the rest. They stayed for a month, then two, then five. Nagito had healed six times over by now, but the quiet life in their home was far more comfortable than a life on the run. The town nearby thought they had simply been like the rest of its people, trying to survive. In fact, many of the citizens adored when Nagito went to town for food and supplies and brought Kokichi along. One of the older women had even helped teach him the basics. </p><p>It was on one such trip he had learned of Junko Enoshima's death. </p><p>He had practically dropped the can of food he was looking at when he heard it in a passing conversation. <em>She is gone.</em> He thought to himself, and his heart stopped. <em>What happens now?</em> He ran home as fast as he could to tell Izuru. </p><p>“Now…” Izuru started as he stared out one of the windows. “Now, despair will slowly die. Maybe this is for the best.” He set down his mug of still steaming coffee walking up to Nagito placing a kiss to the side of his head. Nagito could remember it was cold that day, his knees were brought up to his chest as he listened to Izuru gently talking to Kokichi in the next room. He sighed deeply as he ran his hands through his hair. </p><p>That night he would slowly slip away from his and Izuru’s shared bed, pulling his jacket over himself as he left. </p><p>By the time he got there many of the other remnants stood around the body. He watched as Mikan worked quickly. Pulling an eye for Fuyuhiko, the womb for herself and an arm for Nagito. They would each have to do the surgery themselves, how else could you cause so much despair than having to do it on your own. Mikan laughed as she handed the chilled box to Nagito. </p><p>“Hope your little boyfriend is filled with despair because of this. How can he still live while my love is dead.” She walked off, still laughing. He paused as he looked down. Such a small thing could destroy worlds if used correctly. </p><p>He arrived while the house was still quiet, an eerie stillness that he almost never experienced. He grabbed the sharpest knife in the kitchen, which wasn’t saying a lot, and made his quick strides to the bathroom. He already stored all he would need for this time. </p><p>He locked the door behind him.</p><p>His reflection looked back at him. Tired bags under his eyes and all. He only had a strip of cloth as a tourniquet, some old string and a small needle for stitches and a bottle of rubbing alcohol for cleaning. This would not be the cleanest job in the world but he was working with what he could. It would heal, eventually. Then he and the person he hated most would be one. How wonderful this despair would feel. </p><p>He had brought a leather wallet with him, he was cutting off his arm not his tongue… sorry, bad joke. He bit down as hard as he could onto the wallet, trying the cloth to his upper arm, then got to work. </p><p>The knife hovered for only a moment before he brought it down for it’s first slice into his skin. He could have screamed from the burning pain that sparked there. He held strong and began to cut deeper, he was lightheaded and almost fell twice. He was likely causing quite the commotion, Izuru would find him here, he didn’t care. He continued through muscle that tore quickly, sawing through bone as he heard it cracking under the pressure. He was breathing heavily, black spots dancing to the front of his gaze. </p><p>A loud knock sounded. </p><p>“What is going on Nagito?” He couldn’t reply. He was nearly finished, watching as his arm finally dislodged itself from its host. Falling to the floor with a slight thud. Another knock, louder this time. “Nagito?” Izuru’s voice sounded rushed, almost… scared. </p><p>He opened the box and took Junko’s arm, laying it on the counter, lining it up to where his once was. He hard banging as he sewed into the skin of his arm. It was crooked. What was he to expect?</p><p>By the time Izuru got the door open Nagito was already done, permanently branded as a remnant. He watched as Izuru’s eyes widened. A look of horror spread across his face.</p><p>“Nagito, what have you done?” He couldn’t meet the others eyes. Fingers wrapped around his chin and forced his gaze up. “Nagtio, tell me what you did!” How strange, he had never heard Izuru yell before. He stared, still in shock. He couldn’t say anything. </p><p>“I-I don’t-” He felt his knees give out, he heard Kokichi crying in the other room. The arms of his lover were the only thing keeping him up. He couldn’t feel anything. Kokichi was crying. “Kokichi,” he mumbled weakly. “Kokichi is crying, I need to go calm him.”</p><p>“No, Nagito. I need to make sure you’re not going to die.” He was lifted onto a shoulder. He was tired, lightheaded. He didn’t fight, just hung there eyes wide and tears flowing down his cheeks. </p><p>He might have passed out, many times probably. His son's cries rang in his head the whole night as he was sweating with fever. Tossing and turning. When he finally woke up from his stupor he found Izuru sitting beside the bed, dark circles around his eyes and holding his hand. The one that he still had at least.</p><p>“Why?” Was the first question he was asked. Neither needed to further the question, they both understood. </p><p>“Kokichi was crying, is he okay?” </p><p>“Don’t avoid the question, Nagito. Why did you do it?” Izuru tightened his grip on Nagito’s hand.</p><p>“Tell me how Kokichi is first, Izuru.” He stood his ground. Looking the other in the eye as it turned to a harsh glare.</p><p>“Nagito.” His voice was stern, as the two stared each other down. </p><p>“No, tell me how my son is first.” His voice was rising. “I want to see him!”</p><p>“Nagito, just tell me!” Izuru never yelled but his voice hovered over it.</p><p>“It was to cause despair, okay?!” The silence that came after was deafening. “The other remnants and me agreed to carry on Junko’s legacy.” He looked up to see Izuru with a look he could not identify. “I wanted to cause despair to me and… to you. I-I’m sorry.” They stayed still for what felt like hours before Izuru finally spoke again.</p><p>“I’ll go get Kokichi for you.” He felt a hand cup the side of his face and a light pressure in his hair. “I had to calm him for a while but he was alright.” He buried his face into his hands feeling an overwhelming wave of embarrassment and… despair.</p><p>The next morning he woke up the way he always did. Earlier than the sun and wrapped in Izuru’s arms. He shuffled, stretching out the fingers of his still working hand when he felt the arm coiling around him tighten. He felt Izuru move closer, and felt as he pressed a kiss to his shoulder. </p><p>“I’m sorry about yesterday, I should not have yelled at you like that.” Izuru muttered into Nagito’s shirt. “I have a meeting with the others in a few days we will have to travel for.” Nagito nodded showing he understood. </p><p>The meeting of remnants was something he had witnessed many times before. (Once he got Kokichi they tried to attack him and steal his child away but Izuru had warded them off.) The fact that he had gone before did nothing to make it easier. </p><p>He moved to get up but Izuru stopped him. </p><p>“Stay, I’ll go wake him up.” He gently allowed himself to be lowered back to the mattress. He could feel the sun warming his skin as it streamed in from the windows. “I love you Nagito.” Izuru said before swiftly leaving the room. Nagito glanced behind him and smiled. </p><p>“I love you too.”</p><p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p><p>“I can explain.” He said as he looked to the crimson eyes of his lover. In Izuru’s arms was their son. “No… no I can’t.” He slowly adjusted his arm holding the little girl. Izuru seemed to smile, a slight twitch at the corners of his mouth. Nagito liked when he did that. </p><p>“I leave you alone for one minute and you get yourself kidnapped by children.” He walked at the same pace as Izuru and they began to go home. </p><p>“I have someone I can give her to, they’ll take care of her, they live near here so I can drop her off then.” Kokichi woke up and smiled at Nagito, he shot one back. “...Izuru,” The other man looked at him. “There was a girl there. She’s Makoto’s sister, and they will be looking for us again.” They were able to evade the Future Foundation for so long it was strange to think this all would end so soon. </p><p>“We will go home, see how long we can last there.” He leaned into the others side, as they walked into the night.</p><p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p><p>Winters were cold in the already drafty house. Nagito often stayed under the kotatsu for hours with Kokichi. Not that night though. </p><p>He watched the snow falling, like living in a snow globe. Heavy. It all felt heavy. He kept Kokichi in his arms. Asleep. He was leaning against the doorframe, simply looking. The night was dark, not even the moon was in the sky, she was hidden beneath a thick layer of clouds. Everything was still that night. </p><p>A blanket was placed on his shoulders.</p><p>“Come back to bed Nagito, you’ll freeze out here.” Nagito didn’t move an inch. “Will you at least come inside?” Izuru chuckled a bit.</p><p>“It’s so quiet.” He finally said. “Did you know, snow acts as sound proofing? That might be why.” He was quiet at the last part. He barely felt the chill of the snowflakes on his skin. He would savour this moment. This moment of absolute silence. </p><p>“Yes,  I did know. Now would you come back inside?” Izuru gently began leading back into the warmth of the house. As he closed the door Nagito sat down in front of the window. </p><p>“I’ve never seen so much snow before.” He smiled wistfully. Izuru sat beside him, wrapping arms around his shoulders. “Maybe we could go outside with Kokichi tomorrow.” His head landed on the shoulders of his lover, their child lay in his arms. For one night, he was calm. No worries about the Future Foundation plagued his mind and he could almost forget about despair.</p><p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p><p>He was reading with Kokichi when they came for them. It was a silly story, more pictures than anything.</p><p>As it would seem a towns person said they knew where the two were and led them to the small family. They knocked while he was mid-sentence. Izuru was in the next room but both felt a sense of dead wash over the house. Nagito grabbed Kokichi and the backpack they had for emergencies with all their most important possessions. Izuru opened the door. </p><p>“Sir. It’s Kamukura, correct?” He ran before the gunshots started shooting. </p><p>Out the back door, the snow was still fresh and crunching under his feet. If he could make it into the woods he might be able to get away. He clung to Kokichi as he ran to the woods, the cold wind biting into his skin as chills made their way up and down his body. </p><p>“He’s over there!” He heard from behind him. He only snuck a glance to see someone chasing after him, then forced his legs to move faster. </p><p>He should have known they would catch up. His shoes were haphazardly thrown on when he left. Maybe it was the burning of hope that kept him going until he tripped into the frozen snow, shivering with tear tracks staining his cheeks. He kept his son close to his chest as the man who chased stood over him. </p><p>“Get up.” The man stated simply. He stayed still, as if so long as he didn’t move he would not be seen.  “Get up bastard!” The hood of his jacket was ripped upwards to the sky, he had no choice but to follow. He tried to hush Kokichis cries as more people surrounded them. A particular brunette looked on with sympathy. He watched as he raised his arms to the older male.</p><p>“Here, I can take him.” Nagito pulled Kokichi closer, like that could somehow protect him. He flinched as the shorter one walked closer. “Listen, if you don’t give him to me they will not be as forgiving.” The look in his eyes told no lies. </p><p>“You’re Makoto Naegi.” He spat the name off his tongue like poison.</p><p>“Yes… I am.”</p><p>“I’m sorry but I cannot.” He stated, looking the survivor in the eye. Maybe he could have run. He wouldn’t make it far, but for a moment he may have felt free. </p><p>“Alright, hand the kid over. No hostage today.” He jerked away from the hand trying to take his son. Caving in on himself, becoming a shield of protection. They all pounced. Like wolves finally attacking their prey. One grabbed a now screaming Kokichi from his arms while others grabbed at his arms to try and restrain him. <em>Try</em> was the key word here. As everyone knows a parent will die in order to protect their child. </p><p>He fought back. As little as he could, but god dammit he fought. Kicking and punching his assailants screaming for them to give Kokichi back to him. tearing tooth and nail through the men. He barely broke through the protective gear they wore. He pushed through their arms to get to his baby. They all held their guns up, trained on him as four worked to restrain him. Pulling his arms back as he struggled. </p><p>“Papa!” He heard the child scream at him as he was forced onto his knees, he tried to reach back out to him, to tell him it would all be okay, that there was nothing to fear. But he could do nothing as Makoto took his son into his (if he were to be honest) safe arms and was taken away. Both kicking and screaming. He was lifted into the air as he was dragged away, still kicking. He couldn't stop crying. His throat was raw as he screamed. </p><p>They placed him in a cell. Cold and barren. Devoid of the only things that gave him hope these days. Izuru was taken to his own holding and he had no idea what they had done to Kokichi. He was sick with worry every night. Barely sleeping. Never eating. </p><p>Some days Makoto would come to his room to talk. He would say that he was watching over Kokichi and that Izuru was fine but that did nothing to soothe his nerves. Some days he came in to talk about a simulation he was planning but Nagito barely registered those days. Numb. He felt numb. </p><p>Finally Makoto entered his room. Clipboard in hand and a forlorn look about him.</p><p>“It’s time.” He said, a fake smile to comfort Nagito plastered on his face. He nodded as he stood up. </p><p>He knew what to do when he saw the pods they would be placed in. He didn’t fear anything. </p><p>“Good luck.” he heard before he was being lowered into his grave. He was gently lowered to the bed like cushion beneath him. A headset was pulled over his eyes and a mask over his mouth releasing a sweet artificial air to his lungs.</p><p>He felt heavy, like snow falling in the winter. He felt like he was floating on top of water, closing his eyes as he finally let himself sink to the bottom. He couldn't fight his eyes closing as he fell asleep. It felt like dying.</p><p>
  <em>Kokichi, Izuru, wait for me to wake up.</em> He finally allowed himself to fall through the water and sleep at the bottom of the ocean of darkness that surrounded him.
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Processing memories…</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Processing…</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Remnant: Komaeda Nagito, Ultimate Lucky Student</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Confirm?</span><br/>
<span class="u">&gt;Yes</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Processing…</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Erase Hope's Peak memories?</span><br/>
<span class="u">&gt;Yes</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Erasing Memories</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Complete</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Erase Despair era memories?</span><br/>
<span class="u">&gt;Yes</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Erasing memories...</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Please stand by…</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Error found</span><br/>
<span class="u">&gt;Subject will not forget the Ultimate Hope: Kamukura Izuru</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Force erasure?</span><br/>
<span class="u">&gt;Yes</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Subject may see glimpses if you choose to force erasure</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Continue anyways?</span><br/>
<span class="u">&gt;Yes</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Understood</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Processing…</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Complete</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Enter the simulation?</span><br/>
<span class="u">&gt;Yes</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Entering the simulation</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Processing...</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Processing…</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Entering the island…</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Complete</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Welcome to the island Komaeda Nagito!</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Please have a lovely time!</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Honestly by the end I was shaking, though that might have just been from finding out I finished it. Idk. Man these note are weird this chapter, do any of you even read this shit? <br/>Also I edited the ending for this one a bit since I felt I could have done better.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. At the end of the world</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's the end of the world, well that's what it felt like to Hajime. Nagito was trapped in his own mind leaving him to take care of a child he didn't know existed with limited help from Izuru who was now living as a second part of his mind.</p>
<p>When Nagito wakes up again he finds the eyes of two people he loved, a son placed gently back into his arms and left searching for stability in a dying world.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry if the writing seems bad this chapter, ironically I was really looking forward to doing this one but about halfway through I just lost all motivation. Thank you for understanding!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hajime awoke with a start, joliting upright and taking a deep breath for the first time in a long time. He choked on the fresh air, coughing and leading over the side of his entrapment. He felt lightheaded, that probably wasn’t good. He could see the black hair Izuru had covering his face in a waterfall of raven. </p>
<p>He was mid cough before a voice sounding like his own spoke in his mind.</p>
<p>
  <strong>Breathe Hajime.</strong>
</p>
<p>Izuru. It took him several shaky breaths before he was able to grasp breathing once again. He looked up to see his fellow newly reformed remnants getting up. Makoto was on the other side of the room helping a frail looking Akane out of her pod. Fuyuhiko had already located where Peko was laid and was sitting beside her. </p>
<p><strong>They all lost a lot. I’m sorry.</strong> He felt he would never get used to Izuru being trapped in his mind. They had both agreed to the merging after a long debate between them. Now here they were.</p>
<p>Hajime got up slowly, afraid he would fall if he tried going too fast. His legs were still shaky and his whole body was trembling, maybe from the effort, he wasn’t sure. Beside him was Chiaki, looking peaceful in her sleep. <em>I thought she was dead?</em> He thought to himself. <strong>As did I.</strong> Izuru replied. </p>
<p>Her face was scarred. A token from a near death experience. They all had scars it would seem. Some larger than others, all of them likely never would fade. </p>
<p>“Hajime.” He heard Makoto call him. He looked up as the younger brunette smiled. “Nagito is over there.” He pointed to a corner near Hajime and he rushed over, sliding beside his boyfriend's pod. The only tell of life was the heart monitor letting out a steady beeping. He could see Junko's arm and flinched. He knew it happened, it still hurt to see. “I’m going to help Akane then I’ll need to show you someone.” He barely registered what Makoto had said, only able to get out a small grunt of approval before he was out of the room. </p>
<p>He stared at his still-very-much-alive boyfriend for a long time. Sonia had made her rounds double checking that everyone of their former classmates was still there, before coming to stand behind him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Soon, however, even she had left him.</p>
<p>By the time Makoto finally opened the door the sun was casting a golden glow over everything and Hajime was leaning his entire upper body over the glass of the containment. </p>
<p>“Alright, I’m ready to go when you are.” He barely lifted his head but with a slight bit of persuasion from Izuru he got up and swiftly started following Makoto. Many doors passed them by, all of them looking like cells in prison. All of them barren. Until one door in particular. It was colourful, childlike.</p>
<p>“Just a heads up,” Makoto started, pulling out a ring of keys and approaching the door. “He hasn’t spoken to anyone since we brought him here, Byakuya thought he might talk to you but just in case he doesn’t just know it’s not you.” He unblocked the door and it opened freely.</p>
<p>The inside was full of childrens toys and a bed, full of life unlike the prisons of other rooms. At a small table was a child, no older than three, purple eyes looked up into his, staring for a long while. Staring directly into his eyes with a blank expression before it burst into pure joy. </p>
<p>“Zuzu!” He screeched, running up and hugging Hajime's legs. He felt an involuntary smile tug at his lips. He reached down to pick the kid up. </p>
<p>“Hello Kokichi.” Hajime heard himself say, Izuru had taken over. So that was his name? “I’ve missed you.” He felt Izuru pull the little one into a tight hug, securing one hand around the boy's head and pulling him close. He felt as Kokichi snuggled into his long hair… he would need to cut it or do something about it soon. Their sweet reunion was shattered once Kokichi started asking the questions. </p>
<p>“Where’s Papa?” He asked, leaning back and tilting his head to the side.  Neither Hajime or Izuru could hold back their tears when he asked that. </p>
<p>“He’s asleep right now dear, but he's going to wake up it just may take a while.” He reached up to gently push aside the slight bangs Kokichi had grown from the few months he hadn’t seen him. It seemed he wanted to do the same as he pulled Izuru’s long hair from his face. He looked and poked quizzingly at Hajimes green eye, a clear contradiction to Izurus blood red. “I suppose there's no hiding it from you. Listen Kokichi, there's a lot we need to talk about.” He looked to Makoto who stood in the doorway still. “May you?” He nodded towards the door and Makoto smiled, quickly taking his leave. </p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” Maybe it was the way that Izuru always spoke but Kokichi seemed to understand more words than other children so he rarely talked down to him. </p>
<p>“Well, something happened while I was gone and now I have another person sharing this body. He’s a good man and I feel like you will like him, he’s going to help take care of you.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” He smiled as he looked up at Izuru. “Can I meet him?” </p>
<p>Izuru nodded as he closed his eyes, allowing Hajime to take back control. When he opened his eyes Kokichi was sitting in front of him, a large grin spread across his face. He tucked some of his hair away from his face to smile back.</p>
<p>“Hi, what's your name?” Kokichi asked, tilting his head to the side. </p>
<p>“Ah, my name is Hajime Hinata.” he reached a hand out and the child took it in his much smaller hands. </p>
<p>“Nice to meet you Hajime!” Hajime would give the kid this, he seemed happy. All things considered, with Nagito under a comma, being raised in despair and Hajime not having any clue as to how to take care of a child he seemed to still enjoy life. A youthful bliss that he would likely grow out of one day. </p>
<p>“Hajime,” He heard the door open and watched as Makoto entered the room. “Kokichi should be going to bed soon, and I need to speak with you.” </p>
<p>He helped Kokichi to bed, tucking him in and closing the door before Makoto met with him. He wandered the halls, looking in the doors that were open and out windows that revealed the ocean and Jabberwock island. He entered the dining room, where he and Makoto were meant to meet and took a seat across from the younger man.</p>
<p>“I see you two are getting along, that’s good.” He nodded as Makoto stared him down.</p>
<p>“What did you want to talk about?” Hajime questioned prompting the other brunette to reach down beside him and bring up a box with Nagito and Izurus names written on the side in black sharpie.</p>
<p>“This is a box of the possessions you had before we… well… captured you.” Hajime watched as Makoto slowly made his way around the table, placing it in front of him. “I figured you all would have liked them back, the others already got theirs."</p>
<p>“Thank you.” He grabbed the sides and began to walk to the room he was staying at.</p>
<p>He placed it on the bed and sat down next to it taking a deep breath before finally looking into it.</p>
<p>Inside he first saw a chain and collar. Izuru had mentioned that Nagito wore it, he was never forced into it, always taking it off if it ever became a burden but seeing it sitting not three feet in front of him was jarring. Just beneath that was a bandana, checkered black and white and folded gently over itself. He cautiously pulled both of them out of the box, swiping at the invisible dust coating it. Hiding just underneath both of them were what looked like hundreds of photos along with a key and a very important pixelated spaceship he knew belonged to Chiaki. </p>
<p>He almost cried as he looked through everything. Pictures of a younger looking Kokichi, Izuru in front of a sunset, a house with sunflowers growing around it. It all looked so serene. There were even the odd pictures of Nagito himself. This was a life he never knew, a glimpse into a past he could never be a part of.</p>
<p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p>
<p>Days had passed since he woke up, then those days turned to weeks. They had found a way for their classmates to wake up by then and were working to get everyone back. He had gotten into a rhythm with Kokichi, muscle memory helping a lot. He had settled back into the role as leader easily, Izuru helping where he could.</p>
<p>Every day he sat by Nagitos pod, sometimes Kokichi would join him. </p>
<p>He found that sleep didn’t come as easily as it once had, most nights he lay awake, haunted by his own thoughts. Others, vague nightmares of memories would hold back a good night's rest. He stayed with Nagito on those nights. </p>
<p>Months had gone by, he was just waiting for one more person. Chiaki helped out a lot, though he always flinched when he looked at her face. Neither Izuru nor him could have prevented it, it still hurt. It seemed she hadn’t minded though, even wearing tank tops and shorts on days where she could. She always walked with a slight limp. Kokichi liked her, even going so far as to call her an aunt. She liked him too, taking care of him on days where Hajime could not. Life had continued.</p>
<p>On one night he sat by Nagito’s side, the light green illuminating the area as he held Kokichi in his arms. He had already fallen asleep, snoring slightly. He was tired but he felt he had to stay awake, he had started Nagito on the simulation and he could wake up at any moment. He heard the door open but didn’t turn to look. Chiaki placed a blanket over his shoulders. </p>
<p>“You know if you don’t take care of yourself I might knock you out so you sleep.” It was a playful and somewhat serious threat. He hadn’t slept in days by now and Izuru was threatening to take over just to make them sleep. He laughed, rubbing his eyes.</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah I know.” He put a hand over hers as he looked down at Nagito’s sleeping face. “I just want to be here for him when he wakes up.”</p>
<p>“I know, but please take care of yourself as well. Some people care about you.” She gently took Kokichi from his arms, kissing his cheek as she left him alone. He took what she said to heart and stayed for only a few more minutes before leaving, only glancing at his lover's pod one last time.</p>
<p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p>
<p>When Nagito opened his eyes he jolted upwards taking a deep breath that infected his lungs with fresh air for the first time in a long time. He choked as he breathed. Tears pricking at his eyes as he felt life filling his lungs once again. He leaned over the side of his pod as he coughed, a bit of drool rolling down his chin. Strong warm arms wrapped around his shoulders.</p>
<p>“It’s alright, I’ve got you.” He heard an all too familiar voice say and he felt more tear forming as he gripped the shirt for something to ground him. He took his breaths in heaving gasps, burying his face into the other man's chest. He allowed himself to breathe for a long time, trying to focus on the arm around him and the hand running through his hair. Once he had gotten his body to accept air once again he flung his arms around the other. </p>
<p>“Izuru, you’re okay.” He cried as he clung to his boyfriend. </p>
<p>“Ah, yeah, about that.” He looked up meeting one crimson and one mossy eye.The short hair was brown and he realized something.</p>
<p>“Hajime?” </p>
<p>“Sorry to disappoint.” Hajime smiled down at him jokingly. Nagito could feel more tears begin to form and he choked back a sob.</p>
<p>“No, don’t be.” He said, whipping some of the spit away with his sleeve. “Sorry about… all of this.”</p>
<p>“Hey, don’t worry about it, it happened to all of us. Now, let’s get you out of here, there’s someone I think really missed you.” </p>
<p>He grabbed the others arms, pulling himself out with shaky legs, almost tripping as Hajime pulled him from his grave, putting one arm around his shoulders and helping Nagito from the room. The hallway was quiet as they walked arm in arm once again. Back in the arms of the one they love after so many lifetimes apart. </p>
<p>About halfway down the hall Hajime began to waver, tripping over his own feet as he walked. They had to lean against a wall to catch a break. Nagito could do nothing but watch as Hajime buried his face into his hands taking deep, heavy, breaths. Slowly he began to straighten up, pulling his hands from his face and brushing them up into his hair. </p>
<p>“I don’t think I will ever get accustomed to short hair.” He murmured before pulling Nagito into a bridal carry. He yelped slightly as he was hurried down the corridor. It was rather easy to tell that this was Izuru.</p>
<p>“Izuru?” Nagito questioned just in case.</p>
<p>“Hello love.” The other replied, pulling him closer. “Sorry about this.”</p>
<p>“What happened?” </p>
<p>“Hajime is an idiot,” Nagito laughed in agreeance. “In case you haven’t noticed yet. He has been staying awake for days, when you woke up I suppose the sudden emotional turmoil took more of a toll on him than was expected. I will not always be here; however, I forfeit control to him.” They approached a door and Izuru swiftly opened it, placing Nagito onto the bed, grabbing Junko's arm. “Now, let's do something about this.”</p>
<p>Despite how good he had taken care of it rot had started creeping up from the hand towards his own. It was rather surprising that no infection had set in. He looked away once Izuru had started, not wanting the gruesome reminder of what he did to bear it’s ugly head. The arm separated easily as if Nagito’s body was outright rejecting it as it was pulled from the amature stitching that kept it there. He only looked again when he felt softer pure white bandages wrapping around his arm, a sharp contrast to what had been there mere moments ago. </p>
<p>“I will be making you a prosthetic, it may take a while for it to be completed.” He grabbed Nagito’s hand and placed a kiss on his knuckles. </p>
<p>“Thank you Izuru, for everything.” The door creaking open startled them out of their conversation, a pastel pink head of hair shocked Nagito to tears.</p>
<p>“Ah, you’re finally awake.” Chiaki stated, her face lighting up with a smile. “Welcome back Nagito.”</p>
<p>“Chiaki?” He whispered, not trusting his voice not to crack. It was only then he had noticed the small child standing behind her. “...Kokichi?” He asked once again, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. At the sound of his fathers voice Kokichi looked around Chiaki’s legs to see his papa, safe and sound. </p>
<p>“Papa!” He screamed as he ran up and climbed onto the bed, pulling Nagito into a hug that he reciprocated immediately. Pulling the person he missed the most into his arms with a smile gracing his face. He cried as he was finally reunited with his family.</p>
<p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p>
<p>He had fallen back into a routine. Something he hadn’t had in a while. It was nice to be back home in the arms of people he loved. </p>
<p>A week had passed since he had lost Junko’s arm, but it was for the best. It likely would have killed him to keep it. Both emotionally and physically. Hajime worked on his prosthetic for hours each day. He stayed patient while he worked, mostly spending time catching up with Chiaki or reading with Kokichi. It had taken him a full day to stop crying when he realized his only real friend was alive after all this time and he had spent as much time together as he could. </p>
<p>“Hey Nagito, I finished it!” Hajime called out one day, excitedly grabbing his hand and dragging him off to a room where he could properly connect it. </p>
<p>He had sat on a chair opposite from the other man who was preparing the tools to attach the fake limb. There was silence between them as he applied the main holder to what was left of his arm, bringing the metal arm towards it.</p>
<p>“This might hurt for a second, I made it so the wires would connect and stimulate nerves so you can still move it but it will sting for a bit. Sorry, I couldn’t figure out how to fix that.” He rambled on as he set it all up, placing the prosthetic into the slot. He paused before finally going through with implanting it. “Are you okay so far?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Nagito said, sucking in a deep breath. “Just do it.”</p>
<p>A sharp white pain flashed up his arm, he let out a gasp of surprise as his shiny new limb was given to him. The sudden heat only lasted for a few moments as his body slowly accepted the arm that was not Junko Enoshimas. This new arm was lovely, a shiny silver he imagined would cost thousands to anyone else but to him was priceless. He examined it closely, looking at every inch of it, flexing his new fingers with curiosity.</p>
<p>It would only take moments for him to find it. The small swirls and designs covering the base of his new ring finger. It was beautiful, he leaned in for a closer look.</p>
<p>“What’s this?” He questioned, looking at the intricacy of it. </p>
<p>“Ah, yeah that… Well it thought this would have been… better than… a ring.” Hajime was sheepishly looking at the ground, rubbing the back of his neck. He felt a sudden flush adorning his face. <em>Oh.</em> “I-I mean… Only if you want to, we don-” Nagito cut off his boyfriend with a kiss. Fingers quickly found their way into his hair, keeping him in place. They only pulled away when breathing became a thing again. Leaning their foreheads against each other, both crying tears of happiness.</p>
<p>“Of course I will, idiot.” They laughed as Hajime pulled him into a hug.</p>
<p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p>
<p>“Just relax.” Chiaki said as she brushed his hair back, for what felt like the seventh time that day, into a ponytail. He had kept accidentally undoing it every five minutes, it was hard to stay calm in this situation. He looked into the mirror at Chiaki with her white dress. Maid of honour. That’s what she was, to both the grooms. She looked nice. Her hair was styled in two braids at the side of her head connecting at the back with her pixel pin she always wore. White dress only adorned with a light pink ribbon, heels matching the colour. Maybe focusing on how she looked wasn’t a good idea at the moment, but it helped to calm him just a bit. </p>
<p>“I know, I know. But how exactly am I supposed to be calm when in five minutes I will be walking down the aisle to my soon to be husband?” She shrugged as she once again adjusted his suit jacket. </p>
<p>“I mean, why be nervous. If he really didn’t want this he would have called it off, trust me, I know Hajime.” This did nothing to quell his feelings. </p>
<p>It would be a small reception, their class and a few extra guests in the survivors of Junko's killing game as well as the warriors of hope. The only other person was the officiant to legally do this. (After all, their days of being remnants were far behind them.)</p>
<p>A knock at the door startled him out of his thoughts as Makoto entered, a large smile on his face. </p>
<p>“It’s time.” They all got up, walking out of the small room.</p>
<p>He could feel his heart racing as he neared the door, Chiaki hooking one arm around his, practically dragging him the rest of the way. All his worries seemed to wash away once he exited to the outside where they would be married. The sun was barely hanging over the horizon, His friends all still standing from when the procession started. But seeing Hajime standing there, white tux as pure as snow, he smiled. A feeling of pure joy washing over him. </p>
<p>He didn’t look away from Hajime as he approached the altar. Grabbing his fiance's hands. He went through the motions of saying the vows. Watching as Kokichi presented the rings to them, holding one of his hands once that task was done. They finished their personal vows to each other and the officiant finally let them lean in for a kiss. </p>
<p>Only then did he hesitate. He was really doing this, huh? He was staring into eyes that loved him and a hand on his cheek grounding him. He was doing this?</p>
<p>“Just kiss him already!” Kokichi yelled, causing the now husbands to laugh as well as many in the attendance. Finally he leaned in, and kissed Hajime. Loud cheers erupted around them as a mixture of rice and flowers were thrown.</p>
<p>Their first dance was spent in a much more fast paced, childish giggling, joy as they spun around each other before settling back down to sway in the others arms. It was an odd thing. To be in love. His heart was soaring. Had he ever felt this happy before? Izuru even came out a few times, a small smile gracing his features. </p>
<p>He spent just as much time with his son, dancing the night away in a happy bliss, ignorant to everything but the lover in his arms and the family he had found that surrounded him. </p>
<p>They were the last to leave the hall that night, Kokichi asleep in his arms as they walked out together. Never in his life had he felt so loved.</p>
<p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p>
<p>He woke up slowly, the sun barely streaming in through the windows. Just like back in the days of despair when he woke up before the sun and stayed in Izuru’s arms for a long time in silence. A small fluffy head was resting on his leg. Voices came from the living room. It was then he had found, he still wasn’t used to this. To the therapy he had gotten for himself, the child he had been raising that was as happy as any other. To the dog that was still asleep on his lap, the ring on his false finger he never took off. To the man he had fallen for so easily many lifetimes ago, the house they now shared. It had been months but he was still not used to it all.</p>
<p>He sat up slowly, disturbing Suki in the process who gave no reaction other than to start licking his face. He laughed and gently pushed her away. The golden retriever was not angry at this and simply jumped off the bed to exit the room. He followed slowly after. Walking the halls covered in pictures taken over time, one particular polaroid of a girl in a white dress that he would explain to Kokichi one day.</p>
<p>In the living room Hajime and Kokichi were sitting, still in their pajamas, watching some old school cartoons. Suki quickly jumped up to join the two as Nagito continued to stand there, unnoticed. Hajime was smiling softly as he hugged Kokichi into his side more, a teddy bear grasped in his small hands. He, himself, began to smile as he fiddled with the ring on his hand. The gentle clinking caused Hajime to turn and look at him. He smiled again.</p>
<p>“Hey.” He said simply as Nagito walked up to him, placing a kiss on his forehead.</p>
<p>“Hi.” He whispered, taking a seat next to his husband.</p>
<p>He supposed, one day he could get used to this.</p>
<p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p>
<p>“Have a good day!” Hajime called to him and Kokichi as they left, giving him a wave as they began to walk hand in hand. </p>
<p>Kokichi’s checkered bandana Nagito had given as a “good luck charm” bounced as he skipped along the sidewalk, one hand on his backpack straps. Hand in metal hand they walked along nearing the school with each step.</p>
<p>“Are you excited?” Nagito asked, simply trying to hype up school for his son. That quickly turned out not to be a necessity at Kokichi’s response. </p>
<p>“Yeah, Dad told me all about school. I’m kinda nervous, but mostly excited!” He smiled, placing his hand onto his son’s hair.</p>
<p>“That’s good, school is fun. I’m sure you’re going to make plenty of friends!” He gently ruffled Kokichi’s raven black hair, so similar to Izuru’s. </p>
<p>As they approached the school more parents appeared, each with a child in their hands. He began to feel… off. Like he didn’t deserve to be here like the rest of them. He tightened his hold. The gates were opened with a mix of running, excited children, and nervous, quiet ones. </p>
<p>He knelt down in front of Kokichi, adjusting his scarf for him. He was scared. He wanted his son to enjoy school, but with two dads would he? Bullying could happen, among students and adults.</p>
<p>“Hey,” He started looking Kokichi in the eye. “You’re going to be fine. You will make so many friends and spark a lot of hope. Just be nice and talk to someone!” He said, trying to give some sense of motivation. Kokichi smiled, beginning to run off before turning back to his Papa.</p>
<p>“I love you Papa!” He yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth causing Nagito to laugh. </p>
<p>“Have a good day!” He yelled back, waving with his prosthetic. “I love you too!” He watched as Kokichi ran off to the playground, looking for someone to play with. He stood around for a little, playing with his lip with his fake fingers, watching for a moment before another parent came up to him. </p>
<p>“Is that your little one?” The man asked. He pulled his prosthetic away from his face, looking up to the slightly older man's face, noticing him pointing to Kokichi.</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah.” He said simply, looking for a way out of his situation. </p>
<p>“He’s cute. My brother's kid is over there.” He moved his hand to gesture to a kid sitting under a tree, a book held in his hands.</p>
<p>“Oh, he’s your nephew?” The man nodded. “Sorry to ask but did you need anything.”</p>
<p>“Oh, right, sorry. I just saw you talking to your kid and felt I could give some advice. You seemed new to this and well, don’t worry about it. If you just try your best and accept what he wants with his life he’ll be okay.” The man placed a hand on Nagito’s shoulder in solidarity.</p>
<p>“Thanks, I guess I’m still not used to… all of this.” He laughed slightly while the man nodded.</p>
<p>“I get it, raising a kid’s hard.”</p>
<p>“Have you got kids?” The older man shrugged  looking off into the distance.</p>
<p>“You could say that.” He followed the others gaze, seeing that Kokichi was now standing in front of the boy under the tree. He smiled. “Anyways, my name is Saihara Riku.” The man held out his hand.</p>
<p>“Hinata-Komaeda Nagito.” </p>
<p>“Well it was nice meeting you Hinata-Komaeda-san!” He said as he began to walk away. He stood there in the road for a few moments, glancing over his shoulder at his son who now sat beside the boy leaning over his shoulder. </p>
<p>On the walk home he had a lot to think about. </p>
<p>The house was rather quiet when he entered. Hajime was probably at work at his desk at the moment. He made his way through quiet halls up the stairs and opened the last door on the left. Inside Hajime sat in front of the computer, he cautiously walked up to his husband wrapping his arms around the others shoulders. A hand came up to rest on his.</p>
<p>“Hello love.” Izuru. “How was the walk?” </p>
<p>“It was nice.” He kissed his lover's cheek. “There was a man there.”</p>
<p>“Oh?” His hands barely froze over the keyboard.</p>
<p>“Yeah. I guess he took his nephew there.” A warm silence enveloped the two as he leaned closer to Izuru. “He… gave me some advice, and I thought a lot about it.” Izuru nodded, staying quiet. He was always good to talk to when Nagito only needed to vent and have someone to listen to. “I think I’ll finally get used to… all this. I think I’m finally ready to be there for you and Kokichi, I want to actually live my life again.” Izuru nodded, holding onto his hand tighter. “I haven’t wanted something like this in a long time, it’s nice. Since my parents I’ve been too afraid to love, I think I’m ready to again.” A kiss was placed on his knuckles. He looked down, smiling at Izuru.</p>
<p>“And we will be with you every step of the way.” He muttered as they both leaned in for a kiss.</p>
<p>
  <strong>. . .</strong>
</p>
<p>“How many times do I have to tell him to clean up.” Nagito muttered to himself, looking at the excessive amounts of crayons and paper littering the table. Kokichi and his newly made friend had just run out to the backyard to continue their play and left quite the mess in their dust. He sighed as he began to pick up the unused, blank paper and strewn about drawing utensils placing them back in their place. Finally he looked to the paper the two boys were drawing on and stood in silent shock for a long time. </p>
<p>He tentatively reached out to pick Kokichi’s up. It was rather crudely done but compared to some of the other five-year-olds he had seen it was rather good. One small black haired stick figure stood with a large grin drawn on in purple, little stick arms reaching up to grab the circle hands of his parents. Hajime even had the correct eye colours in the right places, Chiaki stood next to him smiling just as wide. His breath hitched as he saw the portrait of himself. A small grey part for his prosthetic and the biggest smile. All their names were labeled under them.</p>
<p>
  <em>Auntie Chiaki, Dad, Me, Papa.</em>
</p>
<p>He could feel himself crying and swiftly moved the paper so he didn’t wreck the masterpiece. They all looked so happy. His paper family was so happy. He picked up and put away the final things and went off to find his husband.</p>
<p>“Hajime?” He called gently as he entered the kitchen. The man in question halted his washing of the dishes to look over. The sunlight streaming in cast a gorgeous glow around him, a perfect halo. </p>
<p>“Yes Nagito?” He began to dry his hands on a towel, he took the quick steps across the room to stand in front of Hajime.</p>
<p>“Look at what Kokichi drew.” He held out the paper as Hajime took it in his soft hands. “It's us.” He wrapped his arms around the other as Hajime leaned his head against his own. </p>
<p>“It is. Our little family huh?” He gave a slight nod as his husband examined the piece. “Well, I think this deserves a little place of it’s own.” He walked over to hang it on the fridge, an official art piece now.</p>
<p>“Papa! Dad!” He heard the soft pattering of feet and watched his son round the corner, black and white bandana tied around his neck still, his good luck charm, holding onto the small navy haired boy, Shuichi his name was. “Can we go to the park?” He asked, almost already running to grab their shoes. </p>
<p>“Yeah, let’s go out.” Hajime said, grabbing his own shoes, handing Nagito a green coat he never left home without, despite the warm weather outside. “I could use a little breather.”</p>
<p>Nagito smiled as they walked to the park near their house. This was his family, today and every day after. </p>
<p>One day Kokichi would swear that the picture was too “childish” to be kept on the fridge and practically begged Nagito to take it down. He would comply but would hide it in a box with a letter addressed to a special someone. </p>
<p>When he had gotten old enough Nagito and Hajime sat down their son and explained everything. He would finally hand over the letter and watch as Kokichi began to cry halfway through. He would explain the bandana, the polaroid picture, Despair and his arm as he hugged the boy. </p>
<p>One day his son took home a certain other boy, golden eyes and all, and announced their dating status. He would congratulate them. And at their wedding he would cry as he walked his son down the aisle. </p>
<p>He would watch as his son grew into that amazing person his sister knew he would become, and every day passed in a happy bliss. No longer was there despair. No longer were they under the rule of Junko. Izuru smiled. Hajime kissed him and Nagito…</p>
<p>He felt loved. For the first time in his life he knew what it was to love someone and have them love you back just as much.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I mostly wanted to encompass the after feeling of living a domestic life after being deprived of it for so long, hence me not having as much on screen romance but more soft moments. Also, yes I did bring Chiaki back because I refuse to accept that she died twice.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>